It is challenging for parents to stay together when they do not have that bond left. However children that are said to be a gift of god can improve things between them. Some parents choose to stay together for sake of their kids so that the child is able to get proper support. Co-parenting is a term that is used in this condition; this is because it works in the positive direction. Even though in most relationships there is still scope of improvement but some signs can reflect that it could be working our well. First let us understand the concept of co-parenting and then know the signs that reveal if this type of parenting style is working for their children or not.
Is Co-Parenting Effective?
Co-parenting involves both parents to have a mutual understanding to stay together and aid their children in development. In majority of cases there are issues, but it totally depends on every individual. This is because everyone has their own methods and working styles which they apply to stay in touch. It is important as co-parents to set the boundaries and recognize the importance on each other. It also becomes crucial to know what is best for your child and have a singular pattern for your kids so that it is not confusing or leading to constant arguments.
Co-parenting has not been very successful in India, but it is an effective way to give a better life to children. Effectiveness of this parenting style is subjective, but there are ways in which you can determine growth.
What are Signs of Healthy Co-Parenting?
1. Set Clear Boundaries
It is important to respect each other personal space and life. You must decide your boundaries so that there is no argument over this later on. As co-parents you need to decide on what you can control and what you cannot. As far as healthy co-parenting is concerned, you need to make sure that you do not interfere in each other’s life such as dating, or habits, hobbies, etc. All you need to take care of is your children’s response and development lead.
2. Having a set schedule for Children
You need to determine the direction in which you need to take your child through. Managing routines and education goals, etc should be set from well before because it becomes necessary to have same logical thinking. In predetermined routine, such as setting rules about picking or dropping children, dividing expenses and coming to a healthy level of communication. Parents, who maintain a healthy level of communication, have better development towards children. If this continues, then it is a sign of healthy co-parenting.
3. Willing to be flexible
Those parents who are willing to be flexible have better understanding and can aid their child in a better manner. This is because when both parents are accommodating and understanding, then they tend to focus in direction of children’s growth. As co-parents this makes them bond well, also the child has a better understanding and mental health as both parents tend to be together on a decision.
4. Reach to One Another
Another important part is to reach out to take decisions about each other. Talking to each other before doing something is always a healthy part of parenting. Co-parenting is all about working well together in the favour of your child, this is definitely a good sign or co-parenting. Effective co-parenting should consist of healthy and frequent communication especially in terms of decision making abilities. If it is just a courtesy or no communication is established, then the couple might not be effective co-parent.
5. No Manipulation in relationship
Some parents who have separated engage in manipulating their child about other parent. They do this by spreading wrong information or talking unhealthy things about each other. This creates a sense of confusion and hatred in mind of the child and does not let him grow or become mature. A child is not efficient himself to take decisions, hence someone else takes those decisions on behalf of them. This can create problem in the relationship and become an ineffective co-parenting.
6. Children think their parents get along well
Generally good co-parenting is when your kids know that their parents get along well even if you don’t. Pretending to be communicating well and getting along is important to the kids because it makes them satisfied and calm in their mind. They are able to focus on things that are really important to them rather than having a notion of unpleasant behaviour. Children tend to learn from their parents; hence how you behave plays a huge role in determining healthy growth, discipline and good character. This also minimizes conflict among the parents to work in favour of their children.
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